The uneasy feeling hit me sometime between the moment I saw the soldiers driving by in the Memorial Day parade and when I leaned in close to my daughter and explained that these men and women deserved our respect for sacrificing so much to keep us safe.
No sooner had I finished saying those words than the questions started pouring into my soul.
I'm conflicted.
I remain conflicted.
All the questions about war, conflict, kingdoms, politics and patriotism continue to swirl all around me.
Jesus tells us stuff like he's bringing forth a new kingdom. And that you can't serve two masters. So where does that leave me as I pledge allegiance to my country's flag? As a Christ-follower, can I pledge allegiance to both Jesus' kingdom and a country of this world?
How can I support a war when it so directly conflicts with "Blessed are the peacemakers?"
I love my country and have an immense amount of respect for men and women in uniform...but how does that play into my commitment to Christ?
More and more, I can't escape the simple words of Jesus as it relates to all of this. We are called to something different. And I feel convicted that I've taken a highlighter to scripture, pulling out only the parts I like and agree with. The parts that just support my worldview on things.
I literally feel nauseous...I want to teach my daughter about the hows and whys we enjoy the freedom to go to church without fear, to sleep peacefully at night, to feel safe and protected...but at the same time, I'm not sure how Jesus would feel about placing such a high value the same military that while providing freedom, is also engaged in war, death and destruction. I cannot get that lined up with the whole "love God, love people" thing no matter how many different ways I spin it.
My heart's pulled in so many different directions with this. I'm not sure what it means, but I feel compelled to dig deeper into this. I know there's a lot of material on the subject of being a Christian in the military and I think it'd be good to see this from a few different angles, because I might be missing something...maybe not.
I've always felt such a huge sense of admiration and respect for the American military, but never before have I felt it grind so hard against my faith...
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